Being a parent is incredibly rewarding, but it is also one of the hardest jobs an individual can have. Even when things are going well, you are going to experience lots of stress regarding the health, happiness, success, and future of your child. This anxiety can be at its peak, however, when your child is going through hard times or experiencing recurring emotional issues. Every child has meltdowns, but some children have them more often than others and this can be overwhelming for parents. Read on to learn four questions you should ask yourself when your child is having a meltdown, and contact Blair Wellness Group to schedule an appointment with a licensed, clinical psychologist in Beverly Hills.
How Am I Interpreting My Child’s Behavior?
When your child is displaying severe emotional outbursts or destructive behaviors — especially if it is a recurring problem — it’s easy to become reactive and lose sight of the underlying issues that could be causing the behavior. Our children are a reflection of ourselves, so it’s natural for us to view our children’s behavior as a reflection of the efficacy of our parenting. That’s why you should always ask yourself how you are interpreting your child’s behavior. More often than not, you’ll find that you are seeing it as your own failure as a parent, when the real causes could range anywhere from anxiety and sensory processing disorders, to learning disabilities, poor emotional regulation due to ADHD, or even outside factors like being bullied.
How Would My Parents Have Responded in This Situation?
If you are experiencing severe anxiety from your child’s meltdowns, reflecting on your own childhood experiences and how your parents handled your emotional issues can be a helpful practice. It’s okay if you can’t recall many of the details, the real value of this practice is that it removes you from your normal, parental-thinking and puts you in the position of the child. This creates a degree of separation between you and your parental anxieties and gives you an opportunity to take a step back and strategize.
Am I Trying To Be the Perfect Parent?
Don’t get me wrong, it’s completely normal, righteous, even, to want to be the best parent you can be for your child. Your kid will always be better off for that. It’s the language that’s important here. You should always put in the hard work that it takes to grow as a parent and support your child, but you won’t ever be “the perfect parent.” Perfection doesn’t exist in nature, and it certainly does not exist in parenting. In fact, learning from your mistakes will lead to some of your greatest parenting breakthroughs and help you build confidence in your abilities as a parent.
Am I Using All of the Resources at My Disposal?
This last one is arguably the most important question on this list. As parents, we often feel that we need to fight all of our child’s toughest battles ourselves. The reality is, most of us aren’t mental health professionals or child psychologists, and we aren’t trained to identify the physiological causes behind their severe emotional issues and meltdowns. It’s your right to decide whether to take your child to a professional, but it’s your responsibility to use all the resources at your disposal to be the best parent you can be. Working with an experienced therapist from Blair Wellness Group can help you manage the anxieties of parenthood. Contact us today to schedule an appointment.
Blair Wellness Group provides interpersonal therapy and clinical psychological solutions for adults dealing with the anxieties of parenthood. Visit our website to learn more, and contact us today to schedule an appointment in Beverly Hills.