Divorce is a major life-changing event that, depending on the situation, is difficult at best. When a couple chooses to break up, that decision, along with everything that contributed to it up to that point, can leave you with a multitude of feelings that can only be described as “emotionally spent.” Even if it was your decision and your divorce is what you would consider amicable, it can still take significant time and effort to come to terms with the breakdown of your relationship.
At Blair Wellness Group, we understand that divorce is a very personal, and oftentimes complicated process. It’s never as simple as just signing a piece of paper and getting on with your life. Each person’s divorce experience and the struggles that they go through are completely unique to them. That’s why, no matter what you’re dealing with, we can help. At Blair Wellness Group, we specialize in offering highly personalized divorce therapy in a supportive and confidential environment. Whether your marriage is ending as a result of infidelity, abuse, trust issues, lack of intimacy, basic incompatibility, or all of the above, we can help provide the support you need to process your emotions, arrive at a place of acceptance, and eventually move on toward the possibility of a happier future.
Divorce Challenges
Although divorce is technically a legal event, the experience of going through a divorce can be psychologically taxing. You might have a rollercoaster of emotions that range from anger, fear, and depression, to shame, loss of confidence, and profound grief. That’s because there are no simple divorces — they are life-altering.
One of the biggest difficulties is dealing with losses beyond that of your spouse. Having to split time with your children or not being able to be together during family traditions and holidays are some of the hardest things to come to terms with. Despite the wide range of emotions you might feel, it’s important to find healthy coping mechanisms so you can build resilience and be ready to handle whatever may come your way. This is important to remember, as divorce rarely just comes with emotional challenges, oftentimes there are legal and financial obstacles to overcome as well.
Stages of Divorce
For many people, going through a divorce can be likened to dealing with the loss of a loved one. In fact, even if one or both of you no longer shares loving and intimate feelings, there is still the fact that you both loved one another at one time in your relationship. So whether you’re mourning what once was, or what you wish you could still have for the future, those going through a divorce are said to experience and progress through the following stages.
Denial
When the initial thought of getting divorced becomes closer to reality, the emotions that are felt can be overwhelming. To minimize the pain, our minds tend to shift to a state of denial. By avoiding the truth and certainty of the situation, you are living in a preferred existence that allows your mind time to process and fully understand what is happening.
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Anger
After you’ve had time to adjust and think about the changes that lie ahead, the next thing you will likely feel is anger. Divorce can be so life-changing and devastating that anger is your emotional outlet. Depending on the circumstances, you might be angry at your partner or just life in general. You might look to blame others or feel that life is not fair — and all of these feelings are completely normal and a healthy response to what you’re going through.
Bargaining
Once your anger subsides, you may start to realize the significance and permanence of the situation, and how your life will change as a result of it. You may start to feel anxious and desperate, wondering how you can get back to the life you had. Or, if you were the one who requested the divorce, you might be second-guessing yourself and wondering if you made the right decision.
Depression
After progressing through stages of denial, anger, and bargaining, the reality of the situation really starts to set in and that’s when you’ll likely experience grief and depression. During this time it’s common for people to withdraw, avoiding social situations and things they once loved to do. You may not want to talk about your feelings and some people may turn to maladaptive behaviors such as drinking or drug abuse.
The grief and depression that often accompanies a divorce can last for months, or even a year or more. Everyone is different, and there is no pre-set time for when you should expect to feel better. However, if you are finding it difficult to find peace in your daily activities, are engaging in dangerous or addictive behaviors, or you’re feeling overwhelmed with grief or depression and would like to start to feel more like yourself, it’s likely that divorce therapy can help.
Acceptance
There will come a point in your life when you can finally move beyond the all-consuming grief and depression and start to feel more at peace with what has happened. That doesn’t mean you’ll completely forget everything you’ve experienced or that you won’t have days where you’ll be consumed by emotion. During this final stage of acceptance, you’ll start to feel “normal” again and even have a renewed sense of anticipation for what’s to come.
Healing From Divorce Through Psychotherapy
Whether you’re considering divorce, have just started the process, or you’re trying to move on from a divorce that has already been finalized, seeking help from a licensed therapist can help you cope and move on with your life.
Divorce can also create a lot of emotions and feelings that can spiral into various mental health problems. If a divorce is leaving you feeling depressed, angry, grieving, or going down an unhealthy road to addiction, it’s important to get help right away.
If you’re looking for divorce therapy in Beverly Hills, Blair Wellness Group is here for you. We can help you deal with change, become more resilient, and see that good can come from your experience. Contact us today to schedule an in-person, telephone, or virtual teletherapy session.
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