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Dr. Cassidy Blair, Psy.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist | PSY 22022

Dr. Cassidy Blair, Psy.D.

Anger Management Part 2
Anger Management, Part 2

While in the previous article on Anger Management, a number of important points were made in regard to this problem that affects many people, in the article below, a number of additional important points about anger and anger management associated with psychological adjustment and counseling treatment are presented.


What is good to know is that excessive anger can be brought under control. An important development in bringing anger under control gaining insight into the origin of the anger. Psychological counseling seeks to asses and identify the sources and reasons for the anger that people feel as a part of a larger activity of teaching them to understand, cope with, and manage their anger. A bad temper and anger can sabotage many of the good things in life, among the most important of which are interpersonal relationships, school, and employment. Therefore, the management of anger offers those who gain control of their emotions a richer life without exhausting and devastating up and downs.


Anger is an emotion the purpose of which, like the other emotions, is to express a state of mind and an attitude directed toward general or specific stimuli. Anger communicates that you are upset about something in a particular way, that of being disturbed about it in an active, maybe even violent, way. The problem is that when one explodes into anger, the actual cause for the anger becomes lost in the violent expression of emotion. Therefore, instead of encountering problems and positively dealing with them, the anger, in effect, short circuits the normal expression of emotion by magnifying it to excessive and unreasonable levels. Therefore, the presentation of what it was that set the anger off is deflected and ignored by the overpowering emotion of excessive anger. Thus, reasonable discussion about the problem is lost in the overpowering emotions. Thus, while anger is intended to help to communicate a message, if the anger is so overpowering that it changes the focus from being on the solution to an unreasonable concentration on the problem, it is counterproductive and ineffective.


While the expression of normally-controlled anger is a means of drawing attention to a problem that needs resolution, excessive anger avoids that final important step of resolution. Therefore, although in some circumstances it is normal to feel that one has been wronged or mistreated, the anger displaces the need to resolve the problem with an unconscious and uncontrolled loss of emotional control. Anger, also, can produce violent actions on the part of the angry person, often leading to physical harm to other people, something else that only makes things worse rather than facing and working to solve the problem.


People with anger management problems of tend think of themselves as having a “hot temper” or having a “short fuse,” but these “shortcut” ways of describing the problem often end up as only justifications and rationalizations for the free expression of the out-of-control anger. The person just thinks that is the way that “they are,” and that it is a basic pert of their personality and so there is nothing that they can do about the problem. This however, is not true. One can learn through various forms of psychological counseling and treatment about how to manage anger in positive ways that, most of all, do not result in hurting other people.


There are a number of myths, therefore, about anger and anger management:


It is a myth to believe that because excessive anger is so natural that it seem unnatural and perhaps even unhealthy to hold the anger in. The fact is that the suppression or ignoring of anger is not psychologically healthy, but it is not necessary to “blow up” in order to express anger in a healthy way. There are positive ways of expressing anger and managing it, but this realization has to be learned along with the techniques that provide for it. Anger is not best expressed by emotional explosions, but by reasonable analysis and approaches to understanding and dealing with the problem.


It is a myth that the expression of aggressive behavior and overt anger earns one the respect of other people. In fact, excessive anger is a form of bullying, and bullying does not build respect for the bully; it builds fear, and, while fear might be mistaken by the bully as being respect, there is a big difference between these two states of mind. Respect demonstrates honor, but fear demonstrates anxiety of psychological and/or physical safety. It is necessary for the excessively angry person, the bully, to learn to control him or herself in challenging situations, and not to have to resort to physical or psychological intimidation to express his or her points of view. Information that is provided in a reasonable and non-threatening way is far more effective in convincing people of the rightness of one’s opinions and beliefs rather than disrespectful intimidation. That is real respect.


There are yet other myths associated with Anger Management which will be covered in a later continuation of this topic.


Through psychological counseling, suppressed anger can be treated and the individual can learn to recognize its underlying presence and learn to control it in a variety of ways. To pursue psychological counseling for anger problems demonstrates a significant step in controlling personal behavior and lessening the negative and adverse effects of suppressed anger on the person and his or her relationships. Psychological programs dealing with anger problems are effective.


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